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secret faggot
#1
Gay 
there's a secret faggot that only i know about and only i can see and hear that tells me to do things like poop, pee, eat and sleep. but i don't want to do what he says so i go weeks without pooping/peeing/eating/sleeping and eventually pass out and wake up covered in blood and poop. i don't want to poop in a toilet either because it's DISGUSTING like OH LET ME JUST GO SIT ON MY POOP AND PEE CHAIR AND POOP IN A BOWL OF WATER! might as well just poop in a glass of water then. at least then you can lick the poop coming out of the top of the glass like an ice cream cone and then drink the poop and blood water and eat the rest of the poop and throw the glass at someone so it shatters and cuts them with shards of poopy aids glass. instead of just poop in a chair of water making bloody water poop soup and then you just flush it so it's worthless. if you poop in a trash can since you're just going to get rid of it anyway at least you can keep it longer and make your whole house smell like poop. or you can fill a bath tub with water and it's way bigger than a toilet and you can probably poop in it 100s of times. so pretty much you would have to be gay to poop in a toilet. that's why I just poop in corners or wherever I want and sometimes step in poop because it's everywhere. you should just be able to poop while running and jumping like normal like in the middle of a jump just let the poop come out without changing facial expression at all or even thinking about it at all just let the poop come out midair without even caring at all. and show up to the grocery store completely naked and walk down the aisles looking at snacks and pooping. and they can't stop you because of the virus so they cant touch you and have to stay a certain distance from you so there's nothing they can do to stop you so you can just grab food off of the shelves and eat it while walking around and pooping.

PS: I HATE GAY PEOPLE
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#2
also you can poop in a trash bag and lift it for free weights. so if you get stronger just poop more and you have more weights to lift.
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