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mini rant - why does anyone care about the oscars
#1
the oscars remind me of school assemblies

like, you were expected to go and people talked about them but nobody was ever happy afterward

i guess there was a time when it mattered or something, but we're so far gone from winners being meaningful

a committee voted that a movie was good. why do i care? 

the hosts arent funny and every year theres some drama because someone said the word spittoon or whatever and now im boycotting a private industry event
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#2
It's an event where a bunch of rich assholes jerk each other off. The entirety of the new Wreck-it Ralph movie was 90 minutes about how great Disney is and it was nominated. These shows do not matter and have never mattered. There is little to no reason to base an opinion off of these chucklefucks, even the ones that people renown for their "taste". Roger Ebert of all people thought that a movie like Anaconda was close to a fucking masterpiece.
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#3
Roger Ebert can go suck on a bowl of tapioca
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#4
The only people who care about the oscars are male college students who subscribe to wisecrack and loudly talk about how Christopher Nolan is "probably the best director of our time bro change my mind"
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#5
the whole movie industry currently revolves around award shows and the prestige that comes with it

a stamp on that DVD you're selling that says "winner of the Oscar for Best Film 2017" will make it sell

the prestige goes hand in hand with the drama of who "deserves it better" which also happens in every other film festival, from the oscars to cannes or berlin, to the couple I help run here in northern Portugal

the oscars are like the top money maker in a system of recognition, clout, prestige, respectability and marketability

so there's no point in being mad at the oscars specifically if you're not going to think about the whole worldwide movie industry and the standards through which movies are financed and sold + how "quality" is understood
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#6
gotta say, i do love how the CIA can all but say “this film was CIA propaganda” during a fucking CIA OSCARS LIVE TWEETING EVENT BECAUSE THATS LIFE NOW, and people are still just fine with it. weird
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#7
they glow in the dark
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#8
you think anyone ever used an oscar as a dildo
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#9
stick that shiny little fucker right up the ass
look at all the bumps and ridges bet it touches all the right places
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#10
of course
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#11
and so would any of you like, of course
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#12
I think this obsession with phallic objects is seriously misguided. Like, you can shove pretty much anything up your bum and itll feel good but finding something to stick your dick in is a lot harder. Melons work and kiwis if you're like me but all the other solutions are too crafty or expensive
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#13
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#14
I never imagined one image can improve my sex life and cooking skills so much
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#15
ohhhhh you're supposed to pour OUT the boiling water before sticking your dick in it
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