game of thrones (the show) (SPOILERS)

[grue]

Then we cut to the worst part of the episode: the council of Lords aka the Water Bottle Jamboree (WBJ). Tyrion is brought to a trial by Greyworm for betraying the Queen. Tyrion talks his way into turning a trial into an election, nominates the King, is the first to cast the fucking vote even and then becomes Hand of that King.

By the way yes he is brought by Greyworm who just before we were watching as he executed Lannister loyalists. Now he thinks of justice. Because Tyrion.

To its dying breath this show will jack Tyrion off. It's absurd.

Who is in this amazing WBJ? Some lords I couldn't identify. TWO vale lords - Bronze Royce and his master Sweetrobin. Dornish Prince, Ellaria completely unaccounted for. Gendry Baratheon - say that name again. Brienne of Tarth, not sure why, is she Lady of Tarth now? She becomes Kingsguard later, so that's a dick move (can't be both). Davos is there, and not even he understands why. Sansa, Arya and Dr Manhattan. Edmure Tully (sadly not his hot wife). Some guy, and finally Sam. Sam the Slayer. Sam who broke his Night's Watch Vows, is becoming a Maester, and I guess rules Horn Hill? Unsure of which of these amazing titles allowed him the honor of talking over the other lords sitting there but ok. Oh and Yara is there I guess.

And that's when shit starts hitting the fan.

They're deciding who will be king. Someone even suggests TYRION - the jerking never stops it's outstanding. NOONE things about or mentions Gendry Baratheon, who is the RIGHTFUL HEIR, and is just sitting there I assume hiding his boner from Arya. Sansa, big oof. She's sitting there influencing who gets to be king and THEN pulls a 180 and declares herself Queen in the north. That northmen always wanted to be independent all along. I assume that's why Sansa was sent south to marry Joffrey - to secure that sweet independence. But more importantly you know whose plot it was that was all about independence? DORNE AND THE IRONBORN

THEY'RE SITTING RIGHT THERE

YARA MENTIONS IT CONSTANTLY THROUGHOUT THE SHOW

I MEAN I UNDERSTAND IF DORNE WOULD ALLY WITH DANY BECAUSE OF HISTORY BUT NOW THEY HAVE NO FUCKING REASON TO BEND THE KNEE.

Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken my hairy ass.

Then they nominate Crippled Manhattan for king and NOONE objects to there being a Stark Queen in the North and a Stark King in the South. Noone even bats an eye at that. And Crippled Manhattan manages to, in the same breath, say "this is why I'm here" (to be a plot device I think is what he means) and tell Tyrion to be his Hand because "neither of us want this". They managed to contradict themselves IN A LINE OF DIALOGUE SPOKEN BY A SINGLE CHARACTER. Sam was also like "yo how bout democracy?" and everyone laughs which is the bit that made the most sense. Then they decide that the king will be elected which I'm sure will lead to no conflict at all, and this happens because Sansa casually quips about how his brother can't put it up.

Now Greyworm is fine with letting Tyrion Sue go, this is the man who convinced Jon Snow of killing Daenerys by the way, but he lets him go and be rewarded with becoming vice-king as long as Jon is punished. They promise that that will happen, they will not kill him but they will send him to the Wall. They lampshade that the Wall is useless now and that's that plot point covered! No need to explain nothing at all ever again, everything is fine, go home.

Now let's go to my main problem

Outside of all of this bullshit, we JUST witnessed Drogon burning the Iron Throne. I read that as a symbolic way of getting rid of that absolute power. A little later... Sansa is Queen but other than that THE THRONE IS BACK?? The ONE thing that finished off the season, destroying the Iron Throne... gone. Bran has been sitting in his Throne the whole time! How poetic. But it's not about the physical chair, is it? It's about the fucking POWER that being a King grants that people can't handle. And they just... revert the whole thing back by saying that nah brah, ignore what happened IN THIS EPISODE. Bran is the King now lol. Because that's what matters.

And I guess you could say "well now there's an election" which, true, but NOTHING ELSE changed. All the political power is the same. There's a Kingsguard (Podrick is in it, which I believe Brienne though was really cool and fun that they just gave him that). There's a Master of Coin and a Maester. Bran even wheels himself in to ask for a Master of Whispers (Bran who can literally know everything). Nothing changed EXCEPT that they added the extra complexity of an election process everytime a king dies.

Seriously, I can't wrap my head around this.