V I D E O - G A M E S - I N - 2 0 1 9

[Delirious Biznasty]

Please do, I just beat the pursuer and am unsure what they were thinking while making the game. It'd feel nice to hear someone else trash it

LMAO dude, which encounter? You have like 20 more to go with him.

Oh man where do I even fucking begin.

Lets start at my biggest complaint, which is the health system:

1. Being cursed and losing health every time you die is fucking stupid and an awful mechanic. Dying and losing souls, the currency in this game that makes everything you do function, is already punishing enough, but losing your health until you're a pathetic pile of shit is insulting. "Just use an effigy!!" Why would I do that when there is a ring that essentially nullifies the effects of being cursed in the first area of the game? What the fuck is the point of this? To take up a ring slot? Why give 4 ring slots? Why not just give three? 
   
2. Lifegems are an awful inclusion to the game and completely break the balance. In DS1, the healing was brilliant. It gave a sense of tension my first time playing. When is the next bonfire? Will this 1 sip left of this fire in my estus flask be enough? Do I risk it? Or in the case of a boss fight that was giving me trouble, I could use my scare resource to kindle the fire and double the usage out of it, making that bonfire a small hub to go to if I wanted a buffer for healing (as in the case of Undead Parish, that shit was at TWENTY for Sens on my first play through). But if I wanted those charges, I had to go to that SPECIFIC bonfire. The healing is also instant, but it leaves you in an extreme vulnerable state while doing so, leaving you motionless. This added to the stress and it was exciting. Lifegems though, are a different story. Poisoned? Just use a Lifegem, that regeneration will negate the effect! About to go through a gauntlet of enemies? Prepare for them with a couple of Lifegems! Boss giving you trouble? Well it's a good thing this game gives you so much souls that when you level, you still have enough left over to keep a steady supply of 99 Lifegems. 
   
3. Why in the hell are you able to buy an infinite amount of these items for so cheap at the start of the game?
   

Now lets move on to the leveling system:

1. Too many souls. I level up so fast I didn't know what to level, so I ended up with 40 Strength, Vigor, Endurance and started pumping points into Vitality. Since I leveled up so much, so fast I would have left over souls. A lot of them. What would I do with those? Why, I would use what was presented to me by the game. I bought Lifegems. 9 Lifegems every time I beat a boss. "just don't use Lifegems!!" why would I not use a feature that is obviously intended for me to be used? Was I not supposed to use the right of kindling because it gave me too much of a bonus? Was I not supposed to upgrade my armor because it trivializes the fact that you already get damage reduction just from leveling? Was I not supposed to use a bow to aggro enemies? It's obvious they knew how bad the enemy spam was, so they compensated by the fact that would never fucking die.
   
2. Having every upgrade available to me 2 hours in. I found a titanite slab as my first titanite upgrade material. A fucking slab. I ended the game with 11 of them. This was pre-DLC. This made the bosses extremely trivial so fucking fast.
   
3. Having to respec most of my points into Adaptability after realizing what the stat was/did.
   

Adaptability:

1. What the fuck. What the ACTUAL fuck. You put points into this, your Agility raises. What is Agility? Oh, that's how well you can dodge. What, you thought you were not getting those dodges off? No, its because you have a smaller window because your agility is low. "lol just play the game differently, like how I play!!" No, it is obvious they wanted you to put points into this fucking stat because they give you so many souls right off the bat that you are drowning in the fucking ectoplasm. Not only that, this is a fundamental feature in both Demon's Souls and Dark Souls. This is translated nowhere in DS2 that this affects how you roll and it made me FURIOUS when I found out. 
   

Technical Issues: 

1. Right off the bat the game felt weird. REAL weird. In Majula, I noticed that well in the middle and I wanted to explore, right? I bought the cat ring and tried to jump down. Wait, what? Why is trying to aim my character so janky? In DS1 I felt like I could position myself perfectly for the fall with full 360% movement. In DS2, I felt like a fucking clock hand.
   
2. Lock-On is awful in this game. It is really noticeable with the Ultra-Greatswords. Go on, I dare you to use one. You attack, you attack behind you. You attack, you attack to the side. You attack, you hit them. ??? what is going on ??? Turns out there is a feature that you can aim with the left analogue stick where the sword is going to come down in the middle of the attack. Wonderful, neat, cool. In practice, this is an interesting feature. In practice, with most fights being you running away from ambushes and ganks, your analogue stick will mostly be facing the other direction and you will most likely fuck up your attack. Sometimes, when you lock on, your camera will spin around to a person behind a wall, above you instead of the person immediately in front of you. This is even WORSE when done in the boss fights that are just mob enemies in ganks. Oh, lets take care of the enemy in front of m-oh never mind it targeted the guy three mobs behind him, welp.
   
3. Lock-On is AWFUL IN THIS GAME. I am talking about enemies this time. When most fights feel like pin the tail on the donkey, with the enemies spinning in place while they're swinging their weapon, there is something seriously amiss. 
   

The Level Design:

1. Dreadful. One moment I am in a drab bright area and instantly I am in a rainy bleak castle. I am in a poisoned area, with a castle as the main area. The castle has an elevator. It takes me to a volcano. Outside the castle, where was this elevator taking me? Where was this volcano? What the fuck is this level design?
   
2. The Black Gulch. Everything about this area is outrageous. Everything. This area was what cemented my opinion that this game was awful. If you haven't gotten to this point yet, I am sorry when you do. I am so fucking sorry. 
   

The "Bosses":

1. At first, I was quite forgiving of the bosses. The lost sinner was interesting, was a difficult fight for me but I still got it down in 3 tries. But then a pattern set in. EVERY boss I fought I beat in my first try. With the exception of bosses that had cliffs, I fell off at least once because of menu-management (you'll understand for the final boss). And Velstadt, I have to admit he was not forgettable and was enjoyable. My weapons were upgraded so hard, so fast, I was murdering everything instantly.
   
2. The bosses themselves weren't even bosses. Most of them were just mobs with a boss health bar. You fight Dragonrider 5 times. You fight Guardian Dragon 5 times, once in the beginning of the fucking GAME. You fight Pursuer 5 times. Ruin Sentinels, Executioners Chariot, Flexile Sentry, Belfry Gargoyle, all are a regular mob later in the game. There are too many bosses too that have a swarm of mobs that are there just to make the fight annoying. 
   
3. Darklurker. Better not use those effigies if you want to fight this boss, because you need to use an effigy just to get to the location that he's in! First, you gotta join a specific covenant after finding a cripple in three different locations. Then you have to enter those three different locations and fights PvP mobs that have infinite stamina. After completely the third location, you are instantly warped into the boss battle. What, you weren't prepared? Tough luck! Not to mention if you die, you need to use an effigy just to enter one of those three locations again. THEN you have to clear the area again just to enter the boss arena. So, I hope you save those effigies, because they're a limited resource. Why you may ask? I could just farm them!
   

Spawns:

1. Farming is impossible without joining a covenant. After a set amount of deaths, an enemy ceases to spawn. I believe it's around 11-12 deaths, then the enemy stops existing. There is a feature they added to counter-act this, which is joining a covenant or using a bonfire ascetic. But why have the enemies despawn at all when I can prevent that from happening? "so you can make the enemies despawn and make the boss run easier!!" None of these fucking bosses are hard enough to warrant this. Some have a bonfire right next to the god damn fog door.
   
2. If you can't tell, some enemies feel like they're in weird spots. That's SotFS. That ogre with the questionable grab hitbox? They added that. The dragon that is a mid-game boss that is chilling in the beginning of the game? SotFS. I could go on.
   

OVERALL, my experience with this fucking game was something to behold. It wasn't until the fucking D.L.C. that I was invested in the game. But even then, it had gank fests. It had forced PvP. It had possibly one of the worst boss runs in the entire series to a copy + paste boss ala demon firesage/asylum demon/stray demon. 

2/10 game, would never recommend to anyone.