Dating & Relationships

[Delirious Biznasty]

ok then

this "relationship" was just playing me like a fiddle, then she became extremely weird and started lying about a bunch of stuff, at this point I knew we weren't dating and it seems like she never considered it.

She pushed my buttons repeatedly after I said to stop, caused me to actually breakdown and start sobbing. More verbal abuse, more verbal abuse, accusations of rape, accusations of faking my disabilities, accusations of stealing from her, I could list more if it didn't upset me. So, after all of this shit, with a fuck ton of talking, we left on a neutral note

I told myself I would give her one last chance, a stupidly naive move. Yesterday she asked if I wanted to hang out, I said sure. She lives over an hour away, I was halfway there when she told me if I could instead come over 4 hours later. Turns out she wanted to blow a guy, after telling me when we were "dating" that she has never and will never suck a dick.

So, because of that, it ended on the worst note possible. I felt anger, sadness, depression, anxiety and a list of other emotions all at the same god damn time.

The worst part? I am still conflicted about wanting to be her friend. I removed her from everything, blocked her on everything, but a part of me still wants to be her friend. I am an extremely lonely person and I stopped talking to my last real life friend because of something similar to this in the verbal abuse territory.

I hate life.